A Bear on Leave
PS — This will be verbose
First things first, a definition. For those of you who are unawares, «OOC» is short for «Out of Character», a phrase popular with the RPG (Role-Playing Game) crowd (of which I am a nerdishly proud member). As I’m sure you can deduce, it’s when you’re speaking as yourself, instead of as your character. For that purpose, this entire post is officially «Out of Character».
With the Bear in the corner, I’ll be writing this one as myself (Stromson, or Jon for those of you who like to use first names). I have a confession to make — I haven’t been entirely honest with you. No, don’t worry, I’m not cheating. I’ve never used FMRTE outside of making cosmetic changes (tweaking a kit I don’t like, or renaming a stupid stadium name), and I don’t make use of custom databases or any of those shenanigans that detract from the realism of the game. My sin is trying to be passionate about a story I’m not really very passionate about.
As you lot have no doubt figured out, I have a serious issue with attention span. None of my front page stories have ever survived beyond two seasons before I lose interest, and inevitably become distracted by some shiny object over in the corner. I made a vow to myself that this year would be different, for FM12 I would stick with a story from start to finish. Obviously I’ve already failed in that task, though I swear it wasn’t intentional.
I left Afan Lido partly because I was genuinely annoyed with the chairman, and partly because I was trying to ignite some passion in myself. I knew I didn’t have what it took to see out 30 seasons of toiling away in the Champion’s League qualifying stages, hoping and praying for the right draw, the right big break that would propel us to glory, and I knew it when the second season started. Character flaw? Absolutely. I give up too easily. Always have, and still haven’t figured out how to beat it.
The other reason I left was I saw the FC United job open up. I knew I could get it, and I wanted it. It was a cool team, with a cool history, and I wanted to play them. So I trotted off to Manchester, and was quite pleased with the prospects of a long and prosperous story. Unfortunately I was nailed by the crash dump error, which I’m afraid was all too real. I DID have a backup that worked, but it took me back to the end of that relegation battle after I assumed control, and I just didn’t have the heart to start over.
And that leads us to Salisbury. I was their reluctant leader last year (after managing to get St. Albans relegated in my first season, The Whites were the only ones willing to take me on), and was always looking for a way out. I thought going back there with unfinished business would give me enough focus and motivation to propel them this year. I was wrong.
I’m just not feeling «it» right now. I know it sounds stupid, and I know this is just a game, but it becomes more then that when we build a community around it. We’re more than just random people playing a game, we’re a community. A nerdy one, sure, but one none-the-less. Right now, I’m not properly contributing to that community.
This isn’t a resignation, or a farewell. I love writing for FMS, and you guys seem to enjoy having me around most of the time. But with the community’s best interest in mind, I need to take a step back. I need to think long and hard about what it is I want to do, and what my goals and plans are. For once in my life, I need to find something I can finish. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. It could be a day, it could be a month (though I doubt it). I’ll probably reach out to a few of you in search of advice in that time, and I’ll thank all of you for putting up with my antics.
Keep up the love, you guys are great.
P.S. — The final league table:
vaibhavc
9 декабря, 2011 at 06:37
Oh ok, take however much time you need to find your goals.
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:23
Thanks Vaibhav, I appreciate it!
nielsneutron
9 декабря, 2011 at 06:43
Yes you need to have passion and dedication for the story that you are writing otherwise you are wasting your own time (and to a small degree ours as well)
I hope you find what you need. Good luck.
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:23
Thanks Neils, I appreciate the support. I think I found it!
CsAtlantis
9 декабря, 2011 at 08:30
Don’t worry, do whatever you want (maybe upload the Salibury save?)
Nice final league table by the way
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:26
Yeah, if you really want it I can upload it, but it’s only a single year’s worth. I didn’t do anything at Salisbury that isn’t easily to duplicate (seriously, that team is SUPER easy to stack into a powerhouse).
Alex
9 декабря, 2011 at 08:41
I did notice the fact that you seemed to change stories regularly last year. I was just hoping that managing Afan Lido and the ambition of the Champions League would keep you on the same story. I kept thinking, you might not stick it out but then you came up with a long term plan and I started to believe. Nonetheless, I really enjoy reading all your stories, whoever you’re managing. I hope to see you posting again in the near future.
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:27
Yeah, it’s a bit of a problem that I’ll fully admit to. I’ve done some thinking though, and I think I’ve found what to do. Appreciate your support pal!
Kevin
9 декабря, 2011 at 09:47
Hi Stromson
Well, I’ll be sorry to see you take a break but as you need to regain focus and work a few things out its therefore a good decision. Hopefully you will find a team or indeed a story format that ignites some passion and you will come back stronger. Good luck mate!
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:27
Thank you for all the support Kevin!
Johnny Karp
9 декабря, 2011 at 10:10
Don’t worry mate, I’m here if you need advice or just somebody to talk to.
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:28
Thank you Johnny, I appreciate it. :)
Laxeyman
9 декабря, 2011 at 16:28
Sad to see you go for a while Stromson, but looking forward to your return mate :)
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:37
Thanks Laxey :)
MRDNRA
9 декабря, 2011 at 23:43
Sometimes its better to take time out for a bit. Just before FM2012’s release I had been planning to start a story on the forums, but since I actually bought it, I’ve got into other stuff hence I’ve not started yet. So, take as much time as you need, it’s your time after all. :)
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:49
Very true, thank you. :)
Sears
10 декабря, 2011 at 22:57
I know what you mean, I tend to get bored of saves very easily. Bet thing is to take a break, I seemed to have made the same mistake over and over again — rush myself back into a save. Never works.
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:50
It really doesn’t, I’m glad to have taken a few days to sort things out.
Ana Garcia
11 декабря, 2011 at 18:56
Sometimes its difficult to find a team you enjoy, I always used to manage in Spain building from the bottom most league to the top and enjoying it but always felt I was missing out on something.
I always enjoy your stories buts it better to find a team you enjoy writing about than playing with one you dont.
Maybe a break is what you need, maybe try managing in different leagues or with different parameters to find something you can enjoy but hopefully we will see you back posting very soon.
Stromson
11 декабря, 2011 at 19:52
Thanks for the support Ana, I really appreciate it!
Rich Wiltshire
12 декабря, 2011 at 10:51
I’ve got to say I hope you’ll be back soon I love your style of writing and I’d love to see a consistant story come from you. Maybe something like Ana’s Pentagon Challenge would keep you more inspired. You could move from club to club in different leagues in different continents whilst still working towards a goal. What ever you chose to do mate I’ll be back to read it.