Stromson: A Fireside Chat

A Bear on Leave

PS — This will be verbose

First things first, a definition. For those of you who are unawares, «OOC» is short for «Out of Character», a phrase popular with the RPG (Role-Playing Game) crowd (of which I am a nerdishly proud member). As I’m sure you can deduce, it’s when you’re speaking as yourself, instead of as your character. For that purpose, this entire post is officially «Out of Character».

With the Bear in the corner, I’ll be writing this one as myself (Stromson, or Jon for those of you who like to use first names). I have a confession to make — I haven’t been entirely honest with you. No, don’t worry, I’m not cheating. I’ve never used FMRTE outside of making cosmetic changes (tweaking a kit I don’t like, or renaming a stupid stadium name), and I don’t make use of custom databases or any of those shenanigans that detract from the realism of the game. My sin is trying to be passionate about a story I’m not really very passionate about.

As you lot have no doubt figured out, I have a serious issue with attention span. None of my front page stories have ever survived beyond two seasons before I lose interest, and inevitably become distracted by some shiny object over in the corner. I made a vow to myself that this year would be different, for FM12 I would stick with a story from start to finish. Obviously I’ve already failed in that task, though I swear it wasn’t intentional.

I left Afan Lido partly because I was genuinely annoyed  with the chairman, and partly because I was trying to ignite some passion in myself. I knew I didn’t have what it took to see out 30 seasons of toiling away in the Champion’s League qualifying stages, hoping and praying for the right draw, the right big break that would propel us to glory, and I knew it when the second season started. Character flaw? Absolutely. I give up too easily. Always have, and still haven’t figured out how to beat it.

The other reason I left was I saw the FC United job open up. I knew I could get it, and I wanted it. It was a cool team, with a cool history, and I wanted to play them. So I trotted off to Manchester, and was quite pleased with the prospects of a long and prosperous story. Unfortunately I was nailed by the crash dump error, which I’m afraid was all too real. I DID have a backup that worked, but it took me back to the end of that relegation battle after I assumed control, and I just didn’t have the heart to start over.

And that leads us to Salisbury. I was their reluctant leader last year (after managing to get St. Albans relegated in my first season, The Whites were the only ones willing to take me on), and was always looking for a way out. I thought going back there with unfinished business would give me enough focus and motivation to propel them this year. I was wrong.

I’m just not feeling «it» right now. I know it sounds stupid, and I know this is just a game, but it becomes more then that when we build a community around it. We’re more than just random people playing a game, we’re a community. A nerdy one, sure, but one none-the-less. Right now, I’m not properly contributing to that community.

This isn’t a resignation, or a farewell. I love writing for FMS, and you guys seem to enjoy having me around most of the time. But with the community’s best interest in mind, I need to take a step back. I need to think long and hard about what it is I want to do, and what my goals and plans are. For once in my life, I need to find something I can finish. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. It could be a day, it could be a month (though I doubt it). I’ll probably reach out to a few of you in search of advice in that time, and I’ll thank all of you for putting up with my antics.

Keep up the love, you guys are great.

P.S. — The final league table: