OOC: I’ll probably be playing with the titles a bit, not sure if I like «The Bear:» or «Salisbury:», not that it has any real bearing. Additionally, I had/have a wicked head cold while I was doing all the preseason work, so my signings may or may not be terrible, and may or may not doom us. We’ll see!
It isn’t easy being a sapient polar bear. Sure the cartoons present us as furry, cuddly, and extremely fond of Coca-Cola products, but that image doesn’t seem to stick with people once they’ve met one of us in person. Contrary to what you may believe however, unless you’re a tasty seal, I’m not going to eat you (humans are way too high in cholesterol). I’d much rather relax, watch football, and munch on some popcorn (yeah, I’m a bear that likes popcorn, what of it?). Thankfully though, not everyone fears me.
There is one man in recent times who has taken the time to get to know me, one man who sees me for what I truly am — a tactical genius. That man is William Harrison-Allen, the Chairman of Salisbury City Football Club (a small club in the south of England). Over the course of numerous pub crawls, football matches, and putt-putt golf games, our friendship has blossomed. He trusts me, and appreciates my passion for the sport of football. When he called asking if I would consider taking over his club as manager, I didn’t even hesitate. This would be a new stage in life…
First things first, I had to lay down a set of goals. I needed a plan, something to work toward. So I sat down, and put pen to paper:
1 Year:
-Earn promotion from the BSS
-Consolidate control over the club
3 Years:
-Establish Salisbury as a dominant Conference club
-Improve the youth setup
-Win the FA Trophy
5 years:
-Be playing in League One or Two
-Own our/a stadium
-Win the JSP Trophy
7 years:
-Earn promotion to the Championship
-Beat a Premier League side in the FA Cup
-Expand the stadium capacity
10 years:
-Establish ourselves as a Premier League club
-Win the FA Cup
-Win the Carling Cup
15+ years:
-Win a European title
-Win the league back-to-back years
-Win the double
-Win a treble (Champion’s League or Europa league)
-Build a stadium with a capacity of 50,000 or higher
-Gain a «Worldwide» reputation
Now I’m sure some of those could be regarded as rather…optimistic…but when you’ve seen the things I’ve seen, you need some optimism to get through life. With those goals in mind, I set out for some players to help us achieve them:
We don’t have any transfer money, so loans will be essential in the early going. Ironically, the media are the ones who recommended this guy to me during my introductory press conference.
They say sign young players…my arse. I’d much rather sign a proven veteran on the downside of his career than some scrub who may or may not ever amount to anything. Edozien will be a boss.
Do I have a thing for aging Africans? I guess I must, but don’t blame me, blame their amazing skills. I needed a versatile defender, and Bahoken’s experience all along the back four was simply far too tempting to pass on.
Ah, see, now here’s a young blood. He needs a bit of work (especially with his composure), but this kid has some serious potential.He’s more than good enough to be a starter in this league though, and frankly that’s what matters.
Another crucial loan, this time from the Leicester Reserve Squad (they are seriously STACKED). I expect him to own the midfield at this level.
And then last, but most certainly not least, I present you:
My hero, my muse, my knight in shining armor. My Messi, my Van Persie, my Robben. El Haimour will OWN this league, and to think we nearly didn’t land him. His agent was demanding outrages prices, and even more ludicrous fee, and I begrudgingly passed on. That is until a week later when my assistant came running and informed me Mounir had sacked his agent. We quickly signed him before he could hire another, and for a much more reasonable price.
Of course now that he has an agent again, there is precious little chance of us being able to RE-sign him come seasons end, but damned if I won’t enjoy it while I have it.
Once the dust had finally settled on the preseason, our transfer activity looked as thus:
As a spoiler, there is one player in that list I opted not to share, but whom you’ll be getting to know quite well over the coming months. All the outbounds were chumps on chumped up wages.
Of course a good squad on paper doesn’t necessarily translate to a good squad on the pitch (check the boulevard of broken dreams for ample evidence of that fact). We had to test ourselves in the friendlies:
That’s it Hibernian, you’re officially on my #!@$ list. We didn’t deserve to lose by 3 goals, and I’ll be damned if I’ll stand for that. Look out next year you Scottish do-gooders, we’ll be back…
MOVING on from that atrocity, it was time to face our first month in the league:
I’m going to be entirely honest: we’re too good for this league. We’re a fully professional outfit with a multitude of League 2 calibre players; what prayer do these part-timers have? Anything other than a dominant promotion will be an absolute disgrace to the club, and I will resign and retire from football if we fail to achieve it.
We’ll actually be facing some of the «better» clubs in the coming weeks, but somehow I don’t expect the results to change much. The sooner we move into the Blue Square Premier, the better it’ll be for everyone. Only this time we won’t let those over-privileged Conference «accountants» throw us out of their league over some minor financial technicality. We’ll storm their blasted castle, and we’ll steal their princesses for our own. Beware BSP, we’re coming, and we’re hungry.
OOC Question(s):
1) Does anyone know a good (read: trustworthy) online retailer (preferably a European one) that sells unlocked mobile phones?
2) Because I’m a giant nerd, I’ve been writing a bit of a «back story» for The Bear. I wanted to give him life beyond just a fictional manager. If anyone is interested in actually reading any of that, let me know and I’ll start posting it up as a «Page 2» item attached to the normal updates.
bigbaz
2 декабря, 2011 at 02:00
love the bear!
glad he’s back
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 14:51
Haha, thanks bigbaz. :-P
CsAtlantis
2 декабря, 2011 at 04:30
Connaly is much better than Mounir from what I see, but your signings are on a different level than BSS, winning the title should not pose too many problems
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 14:54
It’ll all make sense in the next update, I promise. ;-)
Alex
2 декабря, 2011 at 07:13
Hey! I’m managing Thurrock, go easy on them next time ;)
You chose the best BSS team whereas I chose the worst, I’m sure you’ll get to the Prem before m :) Good luck, this should be a fun season for you and your team!
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 15:03
No promises. ;-) We’re not the BEST team in the BSS, we were only predicted to finish 6th! I chose them because of my attachment to the club from FM11 though, not because of their strength.
Alex
2 декабря, 2011 at 09:29
Great start to the season. The page two idea seems interesting, I’d definitely give it a read. Looks like the bear is hungry.
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 15:10
Nom, nom, nom.
Johnny Karp
2 декабря, 2011 at 09:31
That’s a very good start mate, I think that your plan will prove less optimistic than you imagine. I think you’ll be in League Two in a couple of years ;) Now for the questions, I don’t know the answer to the first one while for the second one the answer would be «yes» for now but with the mention that it might get a bit confusing having two stories in one.
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 16:05
Thanks for the vote of confidence Johnny, we’ll see how it goes! I’ll be sure to clearly delineate between the actual FM part of the story, and the fictional part of the story. I just thought it would be fun to give a little bit of «extra» background for those who enjoy fiction.
Darren Smith
2 декабря, 2011 at 11:58
Looks like a good start and reasonable plan. All is set for checkpoint one so good luck.
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 16:06
It may or may not have anything to do with using a modified version of your Stoke tactic. ;-)
Kevin
2 декабря, 2011 at 13:43
Stromson
1) Polar Bear..my favorite animal unless I’m invited to dinner :)
2) Charlie Clough I’ve signed before, he’s pretty decent.
3) Great «African» players and have to agree with that transfer strategy
4) 100% record to start things off. Well done!
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 16:08
1) I’m afraid we don’t make good house guests. :(
2) He’s played well so far. There’s no way we could get him permanently, but I’m enjoying this season long loan.
3) Oh it’s fantastic. Tons of 30+ Africans with stellar attributes that are willing to sign for 4-500 a week. By comparison, all the 30+ British folk want 1k+. Africa is by far my favorite place to find talent.
4) Thanks! Couldn’t have asked for a better kick-off to the campaign!
TheZiggy
2 декабря, 2011 at 14:24
I think you’ll achieve most of the targets you’ve set. With the way you’ve started the season, you should go on and steamroller your way to title. I’m up for reading more about The Bear, so I say, «bring it on.» Don’t eat too many of those glacier mints, they’re bad for a polar bear’s teeth. ;)
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 16:10
Damn, I really liked the mints! ;-)
james devine
2 декабря, 2011 at 14:54
the bear is back :D
what a great start to the season that is, the players you signed will easily help you achieve promotion ;D good luck mate
1. the bear back story is complete genius, get it posted!!!
2. when you come to defeating a premier league club, make sure it isnt sunderland ;)
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 16:12
Thanks James!
1) Will do sir!
2) I’ll do my best, as I generally like the Black Cats!
james devine
2 декабря, 2011 at 16:23
gooooooood as im a sunderland season ticket holder but i wouldnt begrudge you a victory :D
vaibhavc
2 декабря, 2011 at 16:17
Wow, good objectives there. The Africans are good, but how do they get their work permits? The player is Elliot Richards…
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 17:15
I didn’t. :-\ I lost 2 or 3 really amazing players to Work Permit issues. The two I did manage to sign had dual citizenship (Italian and French I think).
Laxeyman
2 декабря, 2011 at 17:03
Great start Stromson, and good signings too! How did you get the African players a work permit? I’ve had 5 or 6 deals in place only for the dreaded work permit issue :( Anyway, I’m sure you’ll do well this season, good luck!
Stromson
2 декабря, 2011 at 17:17
I could only sign ones with dual citizenship in another European country. I found some even better players than those, but they couldn’t get through the work permit wall. :-\
Ana Garcia
2 декабря, 2011 at 18:53
I also agree about the age thing I mean if they are good enough you might as well sign them, they could give you at least a year or two before they really decline stats wise but that may just be enough to get a promotion.
I think you should make a new rule that you are not allowed to sign African players until you have managed there! :)
LoL! Joking of course, but I had a similar situation as you when I joined the Black Aces in that the squad was all ready very strong in terms of the league so maybe you can push for promotion.
As always the best of luck!!
DK1247
3 декабря, 2011 at 01:43
I’d hate to be in the room when the team underperforms, though I’m sure the players have a really good incentive for that not to happen.
Adam D
3 декабря, 2011 at 11:57
Hmmmm….. talking, football manager bear backstory.
Note: I don’t actually know if there’s an Earl of Wiltshire, but the if I doubt that’ll be the part that breaks suspension of disbelief :-)
Growing up in The Artic The Bear was a bit of an outcast as he suffered from crippling Hydrophobia, preventing him from joining his family in going out hunting in the ocean. Whilst his family went out swimming to catch a meal he would sneak to nearby human settlements to look for enjoyment. It was there that he first learned of the Beautiful Game and a lifelong obsession with football was born.
Although initially fearful of a bear coming so close the locals soon grew accustomed to the furry white visitor that would watch them kick around a ball in summer (sometimes even pawing the ball back to them if it came close) and then peer through the windows as they watched the big matches on TV when it was too cold to play. Little did they know that this one was smarter than the average bear and in secret he learned many languages, both listening to the villagers speak and intensely paying attention to all the football commentary and analysis the pundits on the TV offered (He could soon say ‘That was never offside’ in 11 languages).
Eventually The Bear grew old enough to have to start supporting himself and ever a dreamer he made big plans. Stowing away on various ships he made an ardous and secret journey to the only destination he could think would suit all his needs: Britain. Home of one of the most exciting football leagues in the world and also cold enough to remind him of home.
His dream was almost ended when he was discovered in port as he tried to make landfall, however before he could be deported the Earl of Wiltshire made an impassioned plea about how his personaly menagarie was currently missing any form of bear and after a bit of back door dealing The Bear got to stay. It wasn’t an ideal life, but it could have been worse and after The Bear started dropping subtle hints hs keepers soon ‘discovered’ his fascination with football. A bear that watched football with as much passion as any other English man soon became a minor attraction.
It was here that William Harrison-Allen, chairman of Salisbury entered the picture. Looking for a way to boost attendances he approached the Earl to see if he could employ The Bear as a mascot for his team. The two discussed the deal in front of The Bears enclosure and when the Earl had to go take a phone call The Bear made the riskiest play of his life so far. He made his way to the edge of his pen and called out to Willliam. Initially taken by complete surprise he listened to The Bears enthralling tale of youthful awkwadness, awakening and passionate love of the game and decided there and then to help The Bear achieve all his dreams.
The Bear proved to be an instant success and won Macsot of the Year in a landslide on his debut, but William Harrison-Allen noticed something else. In the lower leagues individual members of the crowd shouting could be heard but only he recognised the resonating booming voice of The Bear, trying to blend in whilst shouting advice to the team and he noticed something else …. The Bear knew what he was talking about.
The season ended and he approaced The Bear to discuss potentially replacing their current manager. The Bear was hesistant, unwilling to risk further revealing his secret and being sent home or becoming even more of a freak show act, but this time it was William Harrison-Allen’s turn to turn up the charisma and passion. The Bear accepted the deal with special conditions for imported seals and enough money to set up central heating for his family back home whilst they hibernated. Ever the eccentric, the Earl of Wiltshire went along with the plan whole-heartedly.
There were only a few journalists at the press conference announcing Salisbury’s new manager. They laughed when the clubs mascot walked in wearing a suit and sat at the table. When The Bear calmly outlined his plans for a radical tactical reform they sat with their with moths agape and eyes wide open in astonishment. The next press conference was standing room only. Lower league football just got a lot more interesting.
Adam D
3 декабря, 2011 at 12:02
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!
Just realsied that you didn’t say «write a back story», but that you had been writing a back story.
Stupid speed reading, I should take my time in future.
Alex
8 декабря, 2011 at 19:53
Brilliant, nice back story too.
Sears
3 декабря, 2011 at 16:59
Reasonable targets set Stromo, with due time I’m sure you’ll achieve them all.